House Servants Directory | Index | Intro | Section One | Section Two and Three | Section Four and Five | Section Six | Section Seven and Eight | Section Nine and Ten | Glossary
Section Four: End of day Shutting up the House
DIRECTIONS FOR EXTINGUISHING THE LAMPS, SHUTTING UP THE HOUSE, &C.
As soon as you have all the clean articles put by in their proper places, and your room put to rights, then proceed to gather up your plate, &c. It is often times that spoons, forks, &c. are thrown into this swill tub after a party, as the servants are generally in a bustle or hurry ; so the present time is the best to count over your spoons, forks, &c. that if any are missing, you can make search immediately. In the next place, when the party has broken up, and all disperse, proceed to extinguish your lamps, &c. Your lamps must be turned down, not blown out. Then push-up the keys of your lamps that the oil may not flow over, to spoil the carpets, for this would be a sad disaster ; and it often times happens through the neglect of servants not attending properly to the lamps. When all your lights are extinguished, see that your fireguards are put to your fires, and that everything is safe in the rooms before you go out ; then fasten your front door ; then go round to all the doors and windows on the back part of the house, to ascertain whether they are all safe fastened. This is the most important part of a servant’s duty, to see that the house, and all the fires are safe. It is so great an important a part of your duty, that the lives and property of your employers depend on it. How many instances have we heard and seen of houses being burned through the neglect of the servant not having paid proper attention to the fires and lights? and on the other hand how many houses have we heard of being robbed, through the neglect of the servant not paying proper attention to shutting the doors and fastening the windows? Another thing, you should have your hall door fastened at dusk, to prevent any one from coming in and stealing coats, cloaks, hats, &c. as this very often is the case in a city, and owing to the servants not fastening it in proper season.
Now, my young friends, I think that I have given you sufficient instruction, and a full and clear insight into the manner and ways of setting out tables, &c. and waiting on parties in a systematical and proper order, which I trust, from my own experience, is sure to give general satisfaction to your employers, to gain their approbation, and to get credit for yourself. Perhaps you may find some trifling difference in some families, in little ways and notions of their own, for almost every different family has some different rules of its own, and of course you are bound to comply with them, as soon as you enter under an engagement to serve with the family ; for it is the duty of every servant to comply with his employer’s wishes, and conform to his rules, even if he knows them to be imperfect. But still, the rules and observations which I have given, will be a true guide to those who may study and practice them, in the families whom they have the honor to serve.
They are all my own experience, for several years past, in some of the first families in England, France, and in the United States of America ; and I am highly flattered that a work of this kind will be a most essential article to all private families ; and likewise to those domestics that are not perfect, or properly taught the duty of a domestic, or house servant. There are many families that have the misfortune of meeting with men of this sort ; and I am very well aware of the trouble that the lady of the family has with them, to bring them to understand their business, and by only having one of these books in the house for the use of the servant, they will be saved all that trouble, with only the exception of informing them of the rules of the family. I know there are many house servants that think themselves perfect in every branch of their duty ; but, when coming to peruse this work, may find things that they are quite deficient in, and will see they never had the experience or opportunity of knowing. I sincerely hope that this work may do the same good as I expected, when beginning to write it.
Section Five: Behaviors, Cleanliness, and Dress
ADDRESS AND BEHAVIOR TO YOUR EMPLOYERS.
I am now going to give my young friends some advice concerning their behavior to their employers, &c. In the first place all domestics should be submissive and polite to their employers, and to all visitants that may come to the house.
They should never be pert, or strive to enter into conversation with their employers or any visitant that may come to the house, unless they speak to you or ask you a question, and then you should answer them in a polite manner, and in as few words as possible ; for you must know that it is a very impertinent thing to strive to force a conversation on your superiors, unless they begin to converse with you first, and then you are to give answers to their questions, if you are versed in the knowledge of whatever may be the subject, and in as correct and polite a manner as possible.
When a lady or gentleman speaks to you, or asks you a question, answer them very kindly, Yes, Ma’am, – or No, Ma’am ; Yes, Sir,-or No, Sir. I have often heard servants answer their employers in such an impertinent manner as to make my blood run cold, to think that anyone should be so ignorant as not to know his place better ; because it is the duty of every servant to be submissive and obedient to their employers ; for as the old saying is, “kind and polite words break no bones ;” therefore you should make it your whole study to be kind and obliging to all around you, then you are sure to gain credit and esteem from every one. You should likewise be civil and polite to all visitants who come to the house, and treat them with as much respect as you would your own employers, for it is a great advantage to a servant, to have the good wishes of those ladies and gentlemen that visit where they live, because you may perhaps one day or other, have access to their good word, &c.
BEHAVIOR TO YOUR FELLOW SERVANTS.
The greatest comfort of servants is their behavior and conduct towards each other. You will always find that the more you endeavour to promote the happiness of those around you, the more you will secure your own. Never be hasty in passing judgment on any of your comrade servants, as we are all commanded by our great Creator to act with christian charity towards each other ; and to do unto others as we would they should do unto us, were we in their situations, and they in ours. If this was the way, my friends, how much more pleasant our lives would pass away than they do. But how different the practice is, I have no need to mention, for time and experience will soon teach us what domestic quarrels are ; and I am sorry to say that several families in this city have such scenes daily to witness. It is there you will see envy, malice, duplicity, dishonesty, and misrepresentation, and every evil, to the tormenting of each other, &c. instead of living together in unity and affection, and making their home a little heaven, which they might, if they were so inclined, they make it a hell on earth, by their wickedness and disagreeable temper, and often wishing to tyrannize over each other.
I have known several places in Europe, where the servants had every necessary good to make them comfortable, but yet they were miserable all through not agreeing one with the other, as they should do ; wherein is their true happiness, and without which they must live miserable. How much better for servants to live together in peace and happiness, than to be continually quarreling among themselves ; whereas, if they would only yield to each other, and be obliging among one another, they might live as comfortable and more free from care than their employers ; as they have many difficulties to encounter from which the servant is free, and sure of his wages. However it is the lot of all Adam’s race to be born to afflictions ; servants, therefore have them more or less, as well as others. At such times we should exercise our charity, and be the more ready to assist each other in cases of sickness or misfortune ; as we know not what or how soon it may be our own case. I have known some instances of the good intentions of a kind master towards an afflicted servant often to be frustrated, through the ill nature of the rest of the servants, who would not do any thing for him ; thus, the poor afflicted creature is turned out of the house, through the cruelty of his own companions. Such persons as these would do well to consider the words of our Lord and Savior, as recorded in Matthew, 7th chapter, and 2d verse ; “With what measure you mete to others, it shall be measured out to you again.” Therefore consider, my young friends, how distressing must be the feelings of a servant when sick, and not able to do his duty any longer ; and especially should he be in a foreign country, or far from parents or relations ; for relations, we generally have many, but very few friends ; and especially at such a period as that, when on a bed of sickness and in poverty.
Now, my young friends, I shall give a few words more of advice. In the first place, my advice is, never to irritate any person that you find to have a contentious spirit, nor hold any argument with such an one. Wherever you may live, strive to live in peace with all ; make as many friends as you can, and as few enemies as possible. Watch over your own temper scrupulously ; strive not to provoke any person, not even a foolish or conceited person, for if you reprove such, they will certainly hate you, when a wise person would love and respect you. Always watch over the failings of others, as warning to yourself ; and always try to do unto others, as you would they should do unto you. Keep this in mind, and it will support you under all your vexations.
Take care and never do an injury to any servant’s character, for how easy they may be thrown out of bread through it, and perhaps led to greater evils. Always guard against being influenced to do any kind of injustice to your comrade servants, either by lying, or any other revengeful spirit. Remember that the Lord abhors the deceitful man, and will not let him go unpunished ; for Solomon says, “he that uttereth a slander is a fool.” And when we recollect that a servant depends wholly on his character for his living, we should be very careful what we say of each other. You should never oppress any, let them be ever so wicked, for good David saith, “God shall break in pieces the oppressor,” Psalm 72 ; and in the 12th, he saith, “For the oppression of the poor and the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the Lord ; I will set him in safety, saith the Lord, from him that puffeth at him.”
How much better would it be for us to act and do as holy Job did, both for our own comfort and for the comfort of those around us : hear what the good man says in Chapter 39th. “I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame, I was a father to the poor, and the cause which I knew not, I searched out ; and I break the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth ;” therefore I candidly say unto each of ye, go and do ye likewise, as far as it is in your power so to do, and the Almighty will bring you safe through this wicked world, and place on you a crown of glory in the next ; and I sincerely hope that my young friends may study those few hasty remarks and observations which I have here laid down, and now conclude with giving my friends some observations on the behavior of servants at their meals.
BEHAVIOR OF SERVANTS AT THEIR MEALS.
Now, my friends, having had the pleasure and gratification of bringing ye in perfect order to wait on your superiors, I will therefore give you some advice and observations on behavior and propriety at your own meals. In all families there is or should be, a proper time for the meals in the kitchen, so as not to interfere with the parlor hours, as the servants are generally busy at that time. All the help should be ready, if possible, to sit down together at their meals, unless they are hindered by their employers ; therefore you should strive to regulate your work, so as to be ready to sit down together, and not be loitering round as some do, which often is the cause of sad contention and confusion ; for where one comes now and another at another time, it interferes with the cook’s business, and hinders her from getting her work done in the proper season.
Therefore, you should all sit down together thankfully ; not to quarrel and dispute with each other, as very often is the case in families, and murmuring that the provisions are not good enough ; this I have often seen myself to be the case, with those that had scarcely ever seen or known the comfort of eating a good meal, before they entered a gentleman’s service. How wicked must be such conduct towards God, who has made their cups to run over with good things ; and how ungrateful must it be to their employers, who provide bountifully to make them comfortable.
In the next place, you should always be careful of everything belonging to your employers, and never make waste of any thing you possibly can avoid. Whenever you draw beer, cider, or the like, for dinner, never draw more than you think is wanted ; for it is better to go twice than to make waste, and the old saying is a true one, “that a wilful waste often makes a woful want ;” this I have often seen fulfilled, in those that have been extravagant and wasteful of the provisions under their charge.
My young friends, supposing you were in your employer’s situation, and servants under your command, and your property in their charge, should you not think them very wicked and dishonest, when wasting your property and provisions? Only put this to your own feelings, and it will give you full insight how you should act towards your employers ; and how you should manage the property that is put under your trust.
Now, my friends, I shall trespass no longer by these remarks, but give you some few observations how you should conduct yourself at table, when at meals. Make it your study always to be clean at meal times ; never talk much while eating ; be polite and help all round, before yourself. Never begin any vulgar conversations at such or any time. I have known some servants that were so rude, and void of all discretion, as to use the most vulgar conversation during meal times, which was a disgrace to any being, and ought not to be suffered in a gentleman’s family. Always behave respectfully, and never stand up before the others are done, unless your business calls you. When done dinner, put by your chair ; never leave your things about for others to wait on you, for in this station every one should attend to their own business. When done, you should always offer up a blessing for the good you have received ; for we are ordered by the Lord to receive every thing with thanksgiving and prayer ; therefore my friends, I sincerely hope that these examples will become beneficial to all who may study them. I shall now conclude these remarks and instructions, and give some hints to servants in general on their dress.
HINTS TO HOUSE SERVANTS ON THEIR DRESS.
Now, David, in the first place I shall address myself particularly to you, and give you a few hasty remarks on the propriety of servants in dressing, &c. There is no class of people that should dress more neat and clean than a house servant, because he is generally exposed to the eyes of the public ; but his dress, though neat and tidy, should not be foppish, or extravagant. A man that lives in a family should have two or three changes of light clothes for the summer, that he may always appear neat and clean. You should likewise have a good suit of clothes on purpose to wear while waiting on dinner, as there is nothing that looks more creditable than to see a servant well dressed at dinner. It is a credit to himself and the family whom he has the honor to serve. Make it a rule always to brush your dinner suit, when your morning’s work is done, and every thing put in order, that you may have them ready when you want to dress for dinner.
You should never wear thick shoes or boots in the parlor, or waiting on dinner. You should have a pair of light pumps, on purpose for dinner, and a pair of slippers is the best thing you can wear in the morning, as they are easy to your feet while running about and doing your morning’s work ; likewise you are free from making a noise to disturb the family before they are up. You must always be very clean in your person, and wash your face and comb your hair, &c.
In the next place wash your feet at least three times per week, as in summer time your feet generally perspire ; a little weak vinegar and water, or a little rum is very good for this use, as it is a stimulant, and there is no danger of taking cold after washing in either. Servants being generally on the foot throughout the day, it must cause perspiration, which makes a bad smell, which would be a very disagreeable thing to yourself and the company on whom you wait.
Now, David, there is one thing more that I must caution you against, that is, running in debt for fine clothes, &c. There are many servants that practice this to their utter ruin, all through pride and vanity striving even to outvie their master. This is a very unbecoming thing in a servant, and no one would do so but an ignorant person and one that does not know his place ; because, in the first place, his circumstances do not allow it. I never find fault with a servant to dress well, and always to be clean and tidy, but he should not be extravagant, or go above his ability. I have known several servants who dressed so foppish that it looked quite ridiculous, and myself have seen those very same servants afterwards in a perfect state of poverty, and without a dollar to help themselves. Consider my young friend, that when sickness comes on, and no friends or relations to look to you, and no money laid up to support you, then what good does all your fine clothes? does not your pride then make you repent of your folly, and wish that you had been more careful of your money ; instead of spending it to support your ignorant pride and folly? It absolutely makes me think of the fable of the frog and the ox ; where the poor conceited frog puffed himself up, thinking to be as large as the ox, but at length he burst. This was all through pride and folly ; and this I compared to a servant that strives to be in fashion, and spends all his money ; then sickness comes on, and he sinks in poverty and death, and is no more thought of after, than the poor frog. But, my young friend, I sincerely hope that this never may be the case with you, or any other that has to earn a living in this capacity ; for the holy Scripture says, that “the servant must not be above his master ;” therefore I hope that you will follow those examples.
REMARKS ON ANSWERING THE BELLS.
This is a part of a house servants’ business, that requires a great deal of attention. Whenever your parlour or drawing room bell rings, lose no time in going to answer it ; never wait to finish what you are about, and leave the Bell unanswered ; you never should let the bell ring twice if you possibly can avoid it, for it seems to be a great part of negligence in a servant, besides, it is an aggravating thing to those who ring twice or thrice without being answered. In the next place, when your front doorbell rings, you must always step quick to answer it, before it ring the second time ; because perhaps it might be some person of distinction, or on some business of great importance to your employers, wherein no one coming to answer the bell, they might go away and think the family are not at home.
In the next place, you should never admit any person or persons into the parlour or drawing room, without first announcing their names to your mistress or master. This you can readily find out by saying,” what name shall I say, ma’am?” Or “sir ? ” Therefore by this way you will find out whether your employers wish to see them or not. If not, tell them your mistress, master, or whoever they wish to see, are engaged, and etc. in a polite and civil manner.
House Servants Directory | Index | Intro | Section One | Section Two and Three | Section Four and Five | Section Six | Section Seven and Eight | Section Nine and Ten | Glossary
